“I think the world is
upside down. It is suffering so much because there is so little love in the
home and family life. We have no time for our children. We have no time for
each other. There is no time to enjoy each other, and the lack of love causes
so much suffering and unhappiness. Everybody today seems to be in such a
terrible rush, anxious for greater development and greater riches. Children
have very little time for their parents and parents have very little time for
their children and for each other. So the breakdown of peace in the world
begins at home.”
Mother Theresa
This is a quote from
Mother Teresa, one of the humble heroines of the twentieth century. She neither
used grand theories nor detailed explanations in identifying this problem and
suggesting a solution. She did not use fancy terms or write a book on the
topic. It was a blunt and direct response. In our world of technology and
entertainment, it is easy to see families absorbed on their cellphones,
tablets, iPads, or watching television and movies. Is this how today’s
childhood and boyhood should be spent? Spending hours on Facebook, checking
emails, and other social media could have been better utilized with a child or
children. Boys face a number of these distractions and suffer the consequences.
We have, without realizing it, gradually become dysfunctional.
Inadequate time with
family members is only the tip of a large iceberg that has shipwrecked many
lives. How do we address some of the social problems we are experiencing
today? One of the solutions is to
emphasize the significance of reading. It is inaccurate to say that the
majority of us are neither readers nor thinkers. Many are not aware of the
importance of reading in shaping our daily discourse, creativity, writing, and
thinking. Some do not have the discipline to read and this is partly due to the
fact it was never cultivated during their younger years. Reading
inspirational, uplifting, and positive books, articles, and quotes will improve
the mind, body, and soul. Hopefully, reading will encourage the misguided boys
especially those in the underclass, to change their warped mindset and violent
lifestyle.
Some countries
experience a disturbing crime rate and a few persons may ask- what tools,
outside of law enforcement, can we use to stem this problem? Firstly, we need
to educate people in avoiding pointless arguments that often lead to injury and
death. James Allen, the self-help
pioneer of the 20th century, once wrote “Men
engage in heated controversies, and foolishly imagine they are defending the
Truth, when in reality they are merely defending their own petty interests and
perishable opinions.” This is applicable to persons in the secular and
religious realms.
The non-governmental
organizations and community-based organizations must play a greater role in
eliminating social problems that affects many of the world’s boys. Too often,
many non-governmental organizations and individuals remain silent because they
believe that condemning crime will appear “anti-government” and that this would
affect their chances of receiving funding. There is a need to create a proper
think tank to find solutions to poverty and unemployment which are sometimes
linked to crime.
We need to remember that a child
often cannot understand that his or her parents cannot continue living together
or being married. Few of us foresee the devastating impact: “Separation and divorce destroy children’s
lives. When a father takes part in these
actions he is participating in the destruction of his own authority. He is
taking part in the destruction of his own fatherhood.” (Stephen Baskerville
in Diane A. Sears’ In Search of
Fatherhood: Transcending Boundaries, 2003, pp.15, 17). This trauma will
affect our boys.
Undoubtedly, the choice of a husband,
wife, or companion, is important for the future. This future is even more
important if a child or children are involved. So what criteria should a young
man use in his choice? Muhammad Nasser Bey had solid advice for his son: “Many relationships fail because they are
superficial. He should look for someone who is in possession of herself—someone
who owns herself and who has a vision of her future.” (Interviewed in Diane
A. Sears’ In Search of Fatherhood:
Transcending Boundaries, 2003, p.33).
Boys are affected by racism and
religious discrimination. How can we eliminate these counter-productive
systems? Racism, xenophobia, and religious discrimination are evils that are
prevalent across the globe. There are instances when we meet in a cordial
atmosphere in public spaces such as religious institutions, groceries, bars,
and sporting events. However, in the home and during election times, the
hostility erupts. Better human relations could be forged by educating all citizens
from pre-school and kindergarten to tertiary levels. The media has to play a
more important role in eliminating mistrust and hatred among the uneducated and
educated. Too often, the media focuses on trivial events and superficial
persons seeking attention.
I might not have given the ideal
solutions to repair boyhood. Likewise, Mother Teresa’s solutions might not be
ideal, but at least it is a small step in a progressive direction. The annual
observance of “World Day Of The Boy Child” is a global attempt to repair the
broken human family. You might want to criticize and dismiss suggestions and
recommendations. The big question is: What have you recently done to improve
the lives of boys and girls?
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