YOU who look at
me and judge me, making ignorant statements
about my
masculinity,Judging me creating a wet blanket with dirty water to cover me…
Renaming me…with your stigma.
Judging me by
the way I walk…by the way I talk.
Talking about my
earring in ears and my pants either too tight or too slack
Saying, “What
kind of man is he?”
But YOU don’t
know me.
You don’t know
the things that impacted on my masculinity
Because as a young boy I looked through my
windows into society
But all I saw was negativity composing and
constructing masculinity,All I saw were tainted painted images of manhood in my neighbourhood,
Women hurt and crying
And this little boy with a picture of a man’s back to call father.
I resisted the essence of femininity and rebelled
So although mummy tried her best to raise me… I still rebelled.
I hope you would understand that mummy was not a man
And I was a boy…a male…hoping so much to be a “Big Man”
so I quickly pulled away from mummy’s hands since all I saw were dresses and curlers and dresses I wore pants!
I repelled the surrounds of femininity in the home
and gazed outside…
But all I saw outside were guns and gangs
and mothers crying,
"You are just like your worthless father!"
and the father outside hunting for another ‘child-mother'
to ‘conquer’ and boast to the world of how much a ‘man’ he is.
What kind of foolishness is this?
Though a little boy hurt I wanted so much to be a man that I,
Was forced to adopt sub-standards since that was all I saw of men!
I turned on the radio and I heard the calypso,
“Woman doh like…woman doh like…woman doh like soft man.”
I don’t want to be a soft man.
Because like Professor Barry Chevannes said,
‘Being a man to me was much more necessary than morality.’
And then I heard again on the radio,
“Bad ah bad, bad ah bad…man ah Bad man!
So if BAD was what manhood meant… then away with morality…
Because a boy I am… and a man is what… I really want to be.
But when the blinders fell from my eyes what did I see…
Different masculinities;
I saw daddy walking his baby and a husband living in monogamy.
I saw men in schools learning and reading, many books without being emasculated,
I saw a man clothed with designs from Genesis to Revelation,
And proudly wearing his signature designs throughout the nation.
On the contrary…I also saw society the artist with brushes and pictures painted,
But tainted pictures of masculinity…where were the good pictures?
Society!
Throw away those old brushes and old paint!
You are an artist and artists do not wear blinders!
Repaint the image of masculinity but this time showing the world
the responsible daddies and loving husbands…let boys and men know
that this new picture is the true image of manhood - a beautiful picture
of responsibility, 'Daddy's Day Care' and romantic evening winning and dining his her.
Ah! A sign of relief to the young boy,
Because now he can be what he always wanted to be
Without the jeers and peers from the guys or shouts of ‘sissy’
‘Look men on television cooking, doing the laundry and caring for the baby!’
A man with bible in hand leading his family to God…
Now this boy knows what kind of man he wants to be.
___
"A New Picture" © 2010 is penned by Mr. Nicholas Gilbert, B.S.W (Hons) M.Sc. in commemoration of the Inaugural Observance of INTERNATIONAL DAY FOR ELIMINATION OF VIOLENCE AGAINST MEN AND BOYS on 31 January 2020.
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