Inaugurated
in 2016, Global Men and Boys Emotional Health Month is designed to help move ,
organizations, and individuals to effectively address and resolve male suicide
and male depression and their underlying causative factors. We share Planet Earth with 7,759,096,922
souls and approximately 3,913, 749,293 of these souls are males – Our sons,
fathers, husbands, fiancées, uncles, grandfathers, great grandfathers,
brothers, nephews, cousins, co-workers, and neighbors. According to the World Health Organization
close to 800,000 suicides occur annually and three (3) out of every four (4)
suicides is committed by a male. Angry,
depressed, suicidal, and spiritually, psychologically, and emotionally wounded
souls who are males are everywhere – in Canada, South America, the United
States ,Europe, Africa, Central America, the Caribbean, Australia, Asia, and
Antarctica – in our families, workplaces, and neighborhoods. Why is the
emotional health of Men and Boys important? The emotional health of Men and
Boys drives their decision making and behavior --- decision making and behavior
which determines whether or not they will become productive and successful
members of society. Men and Boys struggling with emotional, spiritual, and
psychological wounds either “implode”- commit suicide or self-medicate through,
among other things, food, sex, drugs,
alcohol, gambling, and work. Or they
“explode” -- they “act out” their anger and spiritual, psychological, and
emotional pain by engaging in acts of violence.
How can
institutions, organizations, and individuals throughout our global village
improve the manner in which it addresses and resolves the unique emotional health
issues of Men and Boys?
The
International Men’s Day Team offers the following suggestions:
Rethink
How We Are Raising Boys.
Boys – Our Sons – emerge from the womb with the same full set of
emotions as Girls – Our Daughters. Girls
– Our Daughters -- are given the freedom to express their full range of
emotions – particularly, their natural and spontaneous reaction to physical,
spiritual, emotional, and psychological pain
When Boys – Our Sons – reach a certain age, they are admonished when
they express a natural and spontaneous reaction to physical, spiritual,
psychological, and emotional pain. They are told that it is not “manly” to cry
when they are hurt – physically, spiritually, psychologically, and emotionally;
that strong men never need or ask for help; and that vulnerability is a sign of
weakness. We must tell Boys – Our Sons –
that expressing their natural and spontaneous reaction to physical, spiritual,
psychological, and emotional pain is healthy and not “unmanly”.
Resocialize Girls. As we rethink how we are raising boys -- Our Sons -- and ensuring that they feel
safe to express their natural and spontaneous reaction to physical, spiritual,
psychological and emotional pain, we must resocialize Girls – Our Daughters –
to understand that Men and Boys who express their physical, spiritual,
emotional, and psychological pain in the same manner that they do, are not
“weak” or “unmanly”. We must help them
understand that Real Men express their full range of emotions, ask for help,
and allow themselves to be vulnerable.
The “safe spaces” that Men and Boys require to express their pain and
vulnerability will need to be created and sustained by the Women and Girls in
their lives.
· Rewrite The Narrative On
Strength And Masculinity By Redefining Strength. Being strong is being vulnerable. When a soul is vulnerable they are standing
in front of another person spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically naked.
It is a courageous act. Only a strong person can and will allow
themselves to be vulnerable. We must allow Men and Boys to express their
vulnerability.
· Staffing Medical Clinics And
Medical Facilities With Mental Health Professionals Sensitive To Unique
Spiritual, Psychological, And Emotional Issues of Men And Boys. All clinics and medical facilities in all
communities should be staffed with at least one (1) mental health professional
who is sensitive to and can effectively address and resolve the unique
psychological, emotional, and spiritual issues experienced by Men and
Boys. We must ensure that sufficient
social services and mental health resources and support services exist for Men
and Boys.
·
Address Fatherlessness. Fatherlessness and the lack of a strong and
dominant male presence during a boy’s journey from childhood to manhood spiritually, psychologically, and emotionally
wounds boys -- Our Sons.. We must
address this by, among other things, ensuring that boys and adolescent males
have access to positive male role models –particularly boys and adolescent
males who reside in marginalized communities. This can be addressed through
mentoring, the hiring of male educators
in schools in communities – particularly, marginalized communities where
matriarchal households predominate, and Fatherhood Initiatives which move
estranged parents toward one another and teaches them how to co-parent and
understand that it is “about the child” and not about them.
·
Engage Men And Boys In Conversations About Their Emotional, Psychological
And Spiritual Health. Let’s
engage the Men and Boys in our lives in a conversation – a real conversation –
about their emotional, psychological, and spiritual reaction to disappointments,
rejections, and perceived failures. Ask
questions: “What happened today at school?
What happened today at work? How do you feel about what happened? Are you happy? Are you sad?
Do you feel numb? How can I make
things better for you? What can I do to
help you through the difficult time that you are going through?” Responses along the lines of “Nothing’s
wrong,” “I’m okay,” or “Oh, it’s all good” are unacceptable.
·
Recognize The Symptoms Of Psychological, Emotional, And Spiritual
Distress. Emotional,
spiritual, and psychological distress are manifested in behavioral
changes. These behavioral changes can
take the form of insomnia, excessive moodiness, loss of appetite, change in
appearance – e.g., poor grooming and hygiene, and withdrawal. If the Men and Boys in your life are
excessively moody, not eating, adopting poor grooming and hygiene habits, and
not sleeping, it is a clear sign that they are not emotionally,
psychologically, and spiritually healthy.
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